Glory had to open the door to let him in, and for a brief moment they stood extremely close to each other. Alan wanted to throw himself into her arms so badly that it hurt, and secretly she wished he would. But they had the willpower to stay apart. Glory returned to her chair behind her desk, while Alan pulled a chair up to the side of it.
She said in a rather bland voice, «So, Alan, how was your weekend?»
«It was all right. Had its ups and downs.»
«That’s good.»
Alan thought, This is craziness! This feels like some boring private student evaluation or something, except that it’s so false and so strained! Is this how we’re going to interact from now on?
But Glory suddenly cut through the awkwardness. «Alan, let’s get right to the point. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. A LOT of thinking. My mind hasn’t changed since we discussed this last. There’s just no way we can keep going … physically. It’s insanity.»
She let out a sad laugh. «I was going to say ‘romantically’ but how can I say that when you have who knows how many other women in your bed more important to you than I am? To even talk about the position you’ve put me in is both humiliating and painful. I’m no good at breaking up. If I even see you, it breaks my heart. We just have to completely go our separate ways, at least for a few months, and try to keep our classroom interaction to a minimum.»
Alan was silent for a while. Finally, he said, «I had a bad feeling that you would say something like that. And I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you at all. Maybe I’d do the same thing if I was in your shoes, because it’s the logical thing to do. But sometimes love trumps all logic. Sometimes people find they just can’t stay away from each other, no matter how insane it is to continue. I don’t know what to say to convince you otherwise except that I love you-«
«DON’T,» Glory nearly shouted as she winced painfully, but then continued in a calmer voice, «say that. Please.»
«Why not? That’s what this is all about: love. I think it pains you to hear it because you know it’s true. And you know that you love me too.»
«Oh God,» Glory said as she wiped her cheeks of tears, «I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry, and look at me already.»
She paused to compose herself a bit, and then said in an incredulous and accusatory tone, «Just who ARE you, young man?! How is it that you can pull at a woman’s heartstrings like that at only eighteen years old? Did you know that most of your classmates are only learning how to tie their shoes? I mean that nearly literally. Boys your age are complete emotional idiots, and girls aren’t much better. But you make me cry so easily. Don’t do that! Haven’t you ever seen ‘Casablanca’? Think about what happens at the end. Humphrey Bogart lets the woman leave with another man even though they are in love with one another, because he knows that it’s for the best. That’s what we have to do.»
«Glory! Don’t say that! I don’t remember that movie too well, but I do recall there were lots of important external forces keeping them apart. Our case is different, because the only things keeping us apart are the blockades in your mind.»
«Oh really? There is that minor little point of me being about to lose my job any day if we were to get caught,» she said caustically.
«True. But you and I are smart. We could overcome that. For instance, we could just meet outside of school. The main thing is that you want an exclusive relationship, and you think that’s the only way you’ll ever be happy. But what if that isn’t true? What if there are other ways to love than just purely monogamous relationships?»
«Ha! That’s easy for you to say! It’s not like we’re talking just one other woman here, like a man with a wife and a mistress. No! We’re talking practically about a whole goddamned harem! You just want to add me to your collection!» She lowered her voice and whispered accusingly in disgust, «And your own family members!»
Then, in a louder voice, she said sarcastically, «Life must be really tough for you, having to come to grips with having a harem. I feel your pain! If you can’t have me, then what’ll that leave you with, a ‘mere’ eight? Twelve? Twenty? Come on, what is it?»
«Glory, I’ve hidden some things from you in the past, because I was afraid of losing you. But now, no matter what happens, it’s time to be totally honest. Do you REALLY want to know about all my other partners?»
She nodded. She couldn’t help her own curiosity.
«Okay. This is probably going to destroy my last slivers of a chance for any good relationship with you, but I dream of our relationship being a very special and unique one, a bond of total honesty and trust. So I won’t lie to you. Maybe I started too late, but I can’t change the past. Okay.»
He took a big breath, and then paused for a very long time. «Okay,» he said again. «Here it is. You know now I’m sleeping with my sister. Well, I’m also sleeping with my mother.» He looked up for a dramatic reaction, but Glory was poker-faced. He didn’t know that she already knew this, thanks to her meeting with Suzanne over the weekend.
He was so surprised that he said, «Don’t you have anything to say to that?»
«No. I’ve suspected that for a long time. Just look at her. She’s a perfect beauty.» It was true that she’d suspected such a thing for a long time — Suzanne had merely confirmed it.
«Well, there’s more. Just over the weekend, a new arrangement was made. My girlfriend Amy and her mother Suzanne have also become family. So now I have two mothers and two sisters. It may not be legally binding, but it’s pretty real to all of us. If you think about it, Suzanne has always been nearly as much my mother as Susan is, seeing as how I was adopted and both have known me since I was in diapers. So those are the main four. There are a few others, but they all pale in comparison to my new family. You’re the only other one I deeply, truly love. In my dream of dreams I’d hoped that you would understand that I have these special, very loving relationships and be able to accept them.»
Now it was Alan’s turn to start crying. At «dream of dreams» he began tearing up and had a hard time getting the rest of the sentence out.
Glory was starting to react very negatively to this news, but when she saw him starting to cry she softened up a bit. She could tell that this idea of a sexual and loving family meant a lot to him.
He continued, «You may think that I’m only interested in sex, but you’d be so wrong. I don’t know what ‘it’ is, but for some reason I now am loaded with ‘it.’ I could go out and create a giant harem now of the most amazing women, based purely on sex. But in the end, that would be hollow and meaningless. I think over time I would actually get bored and jaded with it. What really matters are the people I love. Sex is another way to share the love with the people closest to me and I can never get bored of that.»
Glory said, «But it’s not just those four, is it? You’re having sex with many more. Girls like Heather. Just how many more are there?»
«That’s true. I’ve had sex with a total of a dozen different women in my life, and most of them I remain in contact with. But I’d gladly give up all those others outside my family if that would make a difference to you. As amazing as some of them are, there are only two outside of my new family that I’d have trouble giving up, and that’s because I think they honestly need me. And not just for sex, but for important psychological needs, too.»
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«One is a woman named… well, let’s just call her ‘B’.» He was going to mention Brenda’s name, but then he thought better of it.
Glory furrowed her brow. «‘Bee?’ Is that her real name or just an initial?»
«That’s just something to call her. If you don’t want me to tell her your name, then it’s only fair that I don’t tell you her name.»
Glory grudgingly grumbled, «Fair enough.»
He continued, «She’s got a complicated background, but suffice to say that she has very deep psychological needs relating to her deceased mother, and it seems only I can satisfy those when it comes to certain things.»
Glory felt her jealousy coming to the fore. «So, this bee, is she very beautiful?»
«Let’s not go there, okay? What good does that do?»
She nodded reluctantly.
«Then there’s Heather. Obviously, there’s no point in hiding her name, since you know so much about her and our situation. As everyone knows, she’s a complete bitch. But I think I can change her for the better.»
Glory scoffed, «Through fucking.»
«Yes. For some reason, when I have anal sex with her, it humbles her. She needs to learn humility. Desperately.»
«And it just so happens that you’re forced to have sex with the head cheerleader in order to be such a good Samaritan. My heart bleeds for you.»
«Glory, please don’t mock me. Back when I was a virgin, I thought that sex was just about achieving sexual satisfaction, but now I know there’s so much more to it. All kinds of intense emotional things can happen. You’ve felt it with me. Did we not share some of the most wonderful, emotional, and transformative moments together when we were having sex?»
A sad look crossed her face and a lot of the anger and resentment seemed to drain out of her. «Yes, you know we did.»
«Haven’t we bonded through sex into something so much more than the relationship we had before? A new relationship based on total love?»
«Argh! Stop saying that! Yes, okay. That’s true. But now those priceless memories seem so cheap when I think that you might have been experiencing the same thing with Heather or your own mother. Or should I say mothers? Alan, this is just too weird! You’ve just had too many intense and sexual relationships with too many other women. I’ll never be able to deal with it. No!»
«But Glory, why does that matter? Can a parent only love one child? If a parent greatly loves one child, does that mean there’s nothing left for the other child? No!»
He paused for some moments, and then continued, «Think how deep a family bond is, a good family bond. I can’t change my relationship to Susan and the rest now. Do you expect me to go completely cold turkey on them, never see them again? Think of the anguish. Think of the pain if I simply can’t hug my own mother anymore. Think of all the anguish you’ve been going through, and imagine that happening to them.»
Glory thought about it, but didn’t mind that much. «You have to do it. You can’t continue with this perverse situation. You need a normal marriage. A normal monogamous life! Let me give you that!»
As soon as the words left her mouth, she thought, Oh my god! Did I just propose MARRIAGE to him? No! He’s only eighteen! He’s in HIGH SCHOOL! Good Lord, is that what I want? Alan, please let that comment slide because I don’t even want to think about the implications!
To her great relief, he merely replied, «You don’t understand! I don’t have the choice to walk away. A monogamous relationship just isn’t the cards I’ve been dealt in this life. It’s not just good sex — I have responsibilities to them. Commitments have been made. They NEED me! Look at Amy’s mother Suzanne for instance. She’s been in a loveless marriage for years. She was the living dead, really unhappy on the inside, and didn’t even realize it because she kept herself busy with all kinds of schemes. Then her romantic relationship with me started. Glory, you know I try to be modest, but it’s a fact she’s found the most intense love with me that she’s ever known, or probably ever will know. She would be beyond crushed if I walked away. My mom’s feelings, if anything, are even more intense. And if they blamed you for ending what we have? I hate to think what they would do.»
Glory shuddered as she thought about the likes of the wily Suzanne getting revenge on her. But more than that, she was impressed at the depth of responsibility and commitment Alan felt for the others. She could tell he was very sincere about it.
He went on, «But more than that is the love. I love them and need them, and they feel the same about me. I know I’m incredibly lucky with my sexual situation, but there’s so much more going on here. It’s exactly the same situation with you. It’s the same! I love and need you too, just as much as them! We’re not just a couple of people having a hot sexual affair; we’re in love! We should be together, always. You belong with me. With us, in our loving circle.»
Glory put her hands over her ears as if the words caused her physical pain. She closed her eyes tightly and said, «You can’t seriously be asking me to join your multiple partner, incestuous, bisexual family! I can’t do that! I can’t even look at you face to face; it’s too painful!»
«That is what I’m asking. I love you and want to be with you the rest of my life.»
She griped, «Besides, how would that work, with you going to UC Berkeley next fall? You’re a good student, despite slacking off lately. I’m sure you’ll get in.» Alan had kept her appraised of his college application process all along, so she knew his preferred choices and his rough chances of being accepted.
He said, «I don’t know! Frankly, I haven’t thought everything through. But we could make it work somehow. You could move up to Berkeley and teach there!»
She scoffed, «Oh, great. That’s a big sacrifice for you.»
He gesticulated in frustration. «I don’t know. Maybe we could compromise somehow. I’m sure we could make it work, because true love conquers all, and I love YOU.»
«Stop saying that already!»
He reached across the small space that separated them and gently laid his fingers over hers. «But it’s true. Do you doubt my love for you?»
He hesitated to say something several times and even stammered, then finally said, «Ah, what the hell. I might as well tell you. I’ve never really told you about my crushes in middle school or before. That’s because there never were any. Sure, I thought some girls were cute, but I never felt anything strong enough that even made me want to go on a date. Maybe it’s because I got interested in sex kind of late. Pretty ironic, given my life today.»
He continued to explain with total sincerity, «But more than that, I think all those girls didn’t really appeal to me much because they were just that: girls. There wasn’t anything for me to talk about with them. You were the first female I fell for, and fell hard. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s some kind of deeply ingrained chemical or biological thing that happens to permanently mark that first love. I don’t think there will be anyone, ever, who will make me feel like I feel when I see you. I know it sounds totally cornball, but my heart leaps every single time I see you. I do love you. So much.»
Glory’s eyes were open again, in complete amazement. She replied, «Stop saying that,» but this time it was clearly meant as a joke. She was using humor in a desperate attempt to laugh to keep from crying. She was profoundly moved by the depth of his love, and stood up to hug and kiss him.
But as soon as she was out of her chair, she regretted the move. Not only was she afraid of losing all control as soon as they touched, but by suddenly standing she felt a breeze on her pussy and realized that her skirt had ridden up and she was showing everything down below.
She stood like a deer frozen in headlights for a few seconds, and then practically threw herself back into her chair. Luckily, he stood at the same time, and his eyes had never left hers, so she was fairly confident he didn’t notice.
Nonetheless, she again cursed her choice of a short skirt and her failure to wear underwear. But that and the near hug reminded her of how impossible the whole situation was. She said, «I’m sorry. I knew I was your first serious crush, but I never realized just how deep it was and how much it’s meant to you. That means a lot to me. But still…»
He sighed. «‘But still.’ I know. I know it’ll take a long time for you to understand everything and feel comfortable with these ideas I’m putting out there. In the meantime, can’t we at least remain friends?»
She looked at him pleadingly and helplessly. «I really, really want to, in theory. But in reality, you have a very strong sexual magnetism now. Do you know what you did to me during class today? Maybe it was my imagination, but you seemed to smell of cum, your very special and delicious brand of cum. I could barely control myself! Teaching the class was pure torture.»
She thought again of how close she’d been mere moments before to a hug that certainly would have ended with him banging her right on her desk, and said, «Even now, my body is begging me to throw myself at you. We can’t forget the past and all the intense, sexual moments we’ve shared. This is pure torture now as I speak! I want so much to be happy with you. But the only way I can realistically survive and carry on is to go completely cold turkey and bring our relationship outside the classroom to a complete halt. Otherwise I’ll always be completely dependent on your strange sexual power over me.»
She belatedly realized that they were still holding hands. In fact, they were squeezing each other’s hand as if their lives depended on it. She reluctantly pulled her hand away.
