The hostages are dumbfounded.
Meltman:
You all smell awful!
Ash:
Meltman!
Kevin:
You’re
the pirate captain!
Killian:
Fuck you!
Meltman:
That’s Mr. Fuck You, young man.
Meltman looks at one of the pirates.
Meltman:
Bring them out.
Bruno:
Bring what out?
Meltman:
You see, kiddos, I’m a man that loves entertainment, and finding an island full of survivors is the perfect place for that.
The pirate walks on the boat and grabs two decorated knives.
Meltman:
Behind me is your only escape, but I’ll only be bringing one of you back to my ship. That will be decided through a series of matches. You will fight each other to the death, and whichever one of you is the last man, or woman, standing lives. But, of course, this will include your other friends once my men capture them. Speaking of which…
Meltman looks at Pirate 1.
Pirate 1:
You four! Head out and find some more of them.
Four of the pirates head out.
Meltman:
Anyway, let’s begin the festivities.
Pirate 1 grabs a lottery ball machine out of the boat. He writes the names of the 8 prisoners on lottery balls and loads them in.
Meltman:
Who’s up first?
Pirate 1:
Killian and Isaiah.
Everyone else is moved away and held at gunpoint by one pirate, leaving Killian and Isaiah in front of Meltman. Pirate 1 throws the two knives in front of them.
Meltman:
Fight to the death!
Killian:
But our arms are tied!
Meltman:
You have mouths!
Isaiah:
This is sick! I’m not going to kill Killian!
Meltman:
Well, you both will die if I don’t get a match.
Isaiah:
That’s fine! I won’t fight-
Killian grabs the knife with his teeth and drives it into Isaiah’s neck.
Demetri:
Isaiah!
Kevin:
Woah!
Alec:
That’s hardcore!
Isaiah lies against the sand, bleeding and choking on his own blood.
Meltman:
Yay! This is fun!
Isaiah:
*choking* I- I…
Isaiah dies, and his body disintegrates.
Meltman:
That one was a little quick… let’s do another one before a short break.
Kevin:
(Crap… if he draws my name, I’m going to have to die or kill one of them, I can’t do either!)
Ash:
(This isn’t good!)
Alec:
Come on! Draw my name!
Pirate 1:
Alec and Demetri.
Alec:
YES!
Demetri:
Aw, man…
Killian is dragged off to the side, and Alec and Demetri are dragged to the center.
Meltman:
Fight to the death!
Alec and Demetri both grab their knives in their mouths and start trying to stab each other.
Killian:
Kick his ass, Alec!
Kevin:
I don’t want to root for either.
Ash:
Me neither.
Grace:
Go, tiny dick!
Demetri:
I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!
Demetri drops his knife.
Demetri:
Oh no…
Alec drives his knife into Demetri’s head, killing him instantly.
Meltman:
Yay!
Demetri’s body disintegrates.
Alec:
YEAH! THAT WAS FUCKING FUN!
Meltman:
We’ll take a break and see if more candidates arrive.
Alec:
AWW! I WANT TO GO AGAIN!
In the woods, Verity and Wes wander.
Wes:
Okay, can I ask why you saved me?
Verity:
Because I like you.
Wes:
Th- that seriously can’t be it. Bruno, Killian, hell, even Grace could have helped you way more.
Verity:
Maybe I didn’t want to be alone in the forest with them.
Wes:
*groans*
Verity:
Can I ask you something now?
Wes:
What?
Verity:
What’s so wrong with me?
Wes:
Huh?
Verity:
Nevermind.
Wes thinks for a moment.
“
Eve:
No, you weren’t kidding. You’re an ungrateful little bitch, so I’m rescinding my kindness. “
— Chapter 131
Wes:
(She’s a crazy bitch, but she did stick her neck out to save me, and I haven’t even bothered to thank her.)
Wes walks up next to Verity.
Verity:
Hm?
Wes holds Verity’s hand.
Wes:
Thank you for saving me.
Verity:
I forgive you.
Wes:
If you tell anyone about this, I will never speak to you again.
Verity:
Deal.
Verity and Wes continue walking.
Wes:
(I’ve just gotta make sure nobody sees.)
Gavin:
Wes! Verity!
Wes:
(FUCK!)
Gavin comes waddling out of the woods. Wes instantly rips his hand away from Verity’s.
Verity:
Hello, Gavin.
Gavin:
Sup, gucc.
Wes sniffs.
Wes:
Gavin… Did you?
Gavin:
Yeah, my underpants are toast.
Wes:
UGH!
Verity:
That’s unfortunate, Gavin.
Gavin:
You two should be careful. They’ve got pirates canvasing this whole forest.
Wes:
Wait, how do you know?
Gavin:
I’ve seen them running around.
Wes:
HOW DID THEY NOT SMELL YOU!
Gavin:
That’s not important. We need to keep moving.
Verity:
Where to?
Gavin:
I saw the other squirters heading back to the beach.
Wes:
Wait, who?
Gavin:
Eve, Alexis, Karma, Aaron, and Justus.
Verity:
What about Sydney?
Wes:
What about her?! We need to regroup with the others!
Verity:
She’s my friend. If she’s out in the woods, we need to find her.
Gavin:
I think I heard them talking about how they left her behind somewhere.
Verity:
Then please lead us to wherever they came from.
Gavin:
Alright.
Wes:
What! We can’t go looking for Sydney right now!
Verity:
I am. If you don’t want to come, then so be it.
Gavin and Verity start walking off.
Wes:
*frustrated grunt* (With those pirates roaming this jungle, I can’t afford to be alone out here.)
Wes follows after Verity and Gavin.
Verity:
(Good.)
Eve, Karma, Alexis, Aaron, and Justus watch the boat from the cover of bushes and trees on the beach’s perimeter.
Eve:
What’s going on?
Karma:
Something strange.
Alexis:
Where are Wes, Isaiah, Gavin, Demetri, and Gus?
Aaron:
They might all be gone.
Meltman looks at Pirate 1.
Meltman:
I’m bored. Bring on the next match.
Kevin:
(Not me, please.)
Ash:
(I don't want to be put in that situation.)
Pirate 1:
Killian and Grace.
Killian:
Alright!
Grace:
Let’s go!
Killian and Grace are dragged in front of Meltman.
Meltman:
Fight to the death!
Killian grabs his knife.
Killian:
*muffled* On guard!
Grace:
Oh, please… stab me right in the thigh.
Killian:
*muffled* Ugh…
Grace:
Come on… just do it!
Killian goes to stab Grace in the chest. She dodges and wraps her legs around Killian’s neck. Stuffing his face right into her crotch, completely blocking his airways.
Killian: *
choking*
Grace:
It’s okay! This is the man’s way to die!
Alec:
Come on, Killian! Fight back!
Killian:
*muffled* AHHHHHHH!
Grace suffocates Killian. His body disintegrates.
Meltman:
That was a great fight, gross girl!
Grace:
Funny, that’s my hero name.
Meltman:
It fits.
Everyone watching from the trees is dumbfounded.
Aaron:
It looks like he’s making them fight to the death at random.
Karma:
Yes, and soon they’ll all be gone.
Eve:
We’ve gotta find a way to help Ash and Kevin before it’s their turn.
Alexis:
Well, the odds are forty percent that they’ll be forced to fight in the next match.
Justus:
Then we have to act fast.
Aaron:
Or make better odds.
Everyone looks at Aaron.
Alexis:
What do you mean?
Aaron:
If I let them capture me, it will potentially give Kevin and Ash a better shot of survival.
Karma:
Aaron, you can’t!
I’m confident I passed this exam. I can’t say the same for all of you. If I can help you guys, that’s better than securing everything for myself. Plus, there’s a chance you guys can help me break free.
Alexis:
Aaron…
Eve:
That… does make sense.
Aaron stands up.
Aaron:
I’ll go.
Alexis:
Me too.
Aaron:
No, you need to help them strategize.
Alexis:
Karma, Eve, and Justus can do that themselves; everything you just said also applies to me.
Aaron:
*grunts*
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
Meltman looks at Pirate 1.
Meltman:
Let’s pick our next match.
Pirate 1:
Yes, Captain… it’s-
Aaron:
Wait!
The pirates and Meltman all look and point their guns. Aaron and Alexis are walking toward them with their hands up.
Meltman:
Oh boy! Fresh Meat! Tie them up and bring them into the fold!
Pirate 6 ties Aaron and Alexis up and puts them with the others.
Kevin:
What are you guys doing?!
Aaron:
Hopefully, helping you two.
Alexis:
Yeah, your odds weren’t looking great.
Kevin:
Pretty dumb if you ask me.
Pirate 1 looks at Meltman.
Pirate 1:
Should I draw again?
Meltman:
Yup.
Pirate 1:
Alec and Bruno.
Aaron:
(Phew…)
Kevin:
(We’re all safe.)
Ash:
(We survived another draw.)
Bruno and Alec are dragged to the center.
Bruno:
I refuse to fight!
Meltman:
K.
Meltman shoots Bruno in the head. His body flops and disintegrates.
Alec:
Aw!
Justus, Karma, and Eve brainstorm.
Justus:
We have to do something, and soon.
Eve:
But what? We’ve only got two guns.
Karma:
There are only four of them…
Eve:
That doesn’t really matter. They all have their guns trained on the prisoners, and we’re not the best of shots. So unless we kill them all at once, Aaron, Kevin, Alexis, and Ash will die and potentially us.
Justus:
This is quite the conundrum.
Gavin, Wes, and Verity walk through the bamboo forest.
Gavin:
She should be around here somewhere.
Wes:
Joy…
Verity:
Hm?
Verity spots something on the ground. She picks it up; It’s Sydney’s underwear, completely ripped and stretched in the back.
Verity:
I see… These are Sydney’s. She can’t be far.
Wes:
Wait… if those are here… then that means…
Verity jabs both of Wes’ eyes.
Wes:
AHHHHHH! WHY!
Verity:
I know what you were visualizing.
Wes:
I WASN’T!
Sydney:
V- v- Verity…
Verity:
Sydney? Are you here?
Sydney:
Over here…
Sydney is hiding behind a rock.
Sydney:
Please… help…
Verity:
How did you end up like this?
Sydney:
Those other bastards left me hanging from the bamboo by my drawers!
Verity:
I see.
Wes:
Ha! Serves you right!
Verity jabs Wes’ eyes again.
Wes:
AHHHH! I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T ALLOWED TO HURT EACH OTHER! WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?!
Verity walks over to Sydney.
Verity:
Remember when Reed and Seth threw you into a sewer instead of prioritizing passing the final exams?
Sydney:
Yes…
Verity:
Or when Isaiah and Demetri wagered for and won a kiss from you in a bet?
Sydney:
Yes…
Verity:
Or when you received a 4 out of 30 in the beauty pageant?
Sydney:
That was rigged!
Verity:
My point is that everyone treats you with disrespect, and do you know why that is?
Sydney:
Yes…
Verity:
Say it.
Sydney:
Please don’t make me…
Verity:
You treat everyone else with disrespect. If you don’t want to continually be humiliated, you need to treat others the way you want to be treated.
Sydney:
But, Verity!
Verity:
Promise me you will be nicer from now on.
Sydney:
I- I- I-
Verity:
Alright, Wes and Gavin, let’s head to the beach.
Sydney:
No! Please!
Verity:
Say it.
Sydney:
I promise to be nicer to everyone.
Verity:
Good, then I’ll find some leaves and plant fibers.
Verity walks off.
Wes:
(Treat others the way you want to be treated…)
Meltman turns to Pirate 1.
Aaron:
(This is it.)
Kevin:
(It’s almost guaranteed that one of us will fight.)
Alexis:
(Just don’t be Ash!)
Pirate 1:
Ash and Aaron.
Ash:
(Crap!)
Ash and Aaron are dragged in front of Meltman.
Meltman:
Fight to the death!
Aaron:
Ash, it’s okay. You can do it.
Ash:
What?
Aaron:
I’m confident I’ve passed this exam. Are you?
Ash gulps.
Ash:
No…
Aaron:
Then do it.
Ash:
I- I- I can’t.
Aaron:
Are you sure?
Ash:
Even if this is a simulation… I can’t bring myself to “kill” you.
Aaron:
Okay then…
Aaron stands up and tries to run away.
Aaron:
Then kill me, you bastards!
Meltman shoots both of Aaron’s legs, knocking him to the sand.
Meltman:
I can’t believe this! Kill them both.
Aaron:
What!
Ash:
Huh?
Aaron:
(Aaron!)
Justus:
(No!)
Pirate 6 takes aim at Aaron’s head while Pirate 1 aims at Ash.
Meltman:
We’ll have to do a make-up match, which sucks because now we only have four people.
Justus starts to get up.
Karma:
Justus!
Eve:
What are you doing?!
Justus runs out of the bushes.
“
Colossus:
(You fought to the bitter end. What you represent is a true warrior. The result may not be in your favor, but no hero wins every battle. As long as you can walk away saying you did everything you could… that’s alright in my book.) “
— Chapter 124
“
Ash hugs Justus. Justus’ eyes widen with surprise.
Ash:
Whenever you’re ready to talk… I’m here, okay? “
— Chapter 73
Justus:
(This may not be real… but I won’t let her die!)
Justus starts firing at Meltman and the pirates.
Kevin:
Everyone! Hit the deck!
Alec, Alexis, Kevin, and Ash, all duck; Justus’ barrage lights up Pirate 5, killing him.
Grace:
Come on! Come on! Collateral Damage!
A bullet hits Grace’s arm.
Grace:
YES!
The pirates open fire on Justus, riddling his body with bullets.
Justus:
(I hope… this worked, Ash…)
Justus’ body smacks against the sand, lifeless. It disintegrates.
Ash:
Justus!
Eve slams her fist against the ground.
Eve:
That idiot! Now we’re down a gun and manpower! And for what? Nothing!
Karma:
I don’t think so…
Pirate 1 grabs the walky-talky.
Pirate 1:
Everyone head back to the beach! Now!
Meltman:
What the heck was that?!
Pirate 1:
That was the one Smith and Wesley were using as a human shield, and that gun was theirs too!
Meltman:
I see… which means there’s another gun at large.
Pirate 1:
And potentially more if the others got caught up. I recommend we play things safe for now, Captain.
Meltman:
Right, which means the more hostages, the better; *looks at Ash* today is your lucky day, girly.
Pirate 6 grabs Ash and Aaron and drags them back to the pile.
Alexis:
Aaron! Are you alright?!
Aaron:
*groans* Hurts like a bitch, but whatever.
Kevin:
Justus sacrificed himself for you guys.
Ash:
(Justus…)
Eve is amazed.
Eve:
They’re safe…
Karma:
Yes, I don’t know if this was Justus’ full intention, but if it was, it worked.
Eve:
Yeah, but it’s just us left now, and they recalled their troops. How can we stand up to all of them now?
Karma:
I’m not sure, but we must figure it out.
Sydney, Wes, Gavin, and Verity crouch down in some bushes on the beach’s opposite side.
Wes:
Oh, look… Aaron got shot, nice.
Verity:
Now isn’t the time for enjoying his misfortune. We need to act fast.
Gavin:
They’re making all of them pop a squat!
Sydney:
We could wait until they’re all dead to-
Verity stares at Sydney.
Sydney:
We should come up with a plan to help them…
Verity:
Good.
Wes:
Yeah, but we have no weapons.
Verity:
Or do we…
Everyone looks at Gavin.
Gavin:
Sup, gucc.
The rest of the pirates return.
Meltman:
Alright, men, set up a defensive perimeter! We cannot allow any more intrusions!
Pirates:
Yessir!
The pirates fan out.
Meltman:
We’ll let them get in position and continue our game.
Karma takes aim at Meltman.
Karma:
Is this really our best choice?
Eve:
It’s our only choice. We have to hope that if you can kill their leader, the rest scramble like chickens with their heads cut off.
Karma:
Yes, I understand that, but I don’t believe I can make this shot.
Karma’s hands are shaking.
Karma:
If Aaron was here, he probably could.
Eve:
Yeah? Well, he can’t, so you have to.
Karma:
What about you?
Eve:
I can’t! I’ve only ever fired pistols, never an AK47!
Karma:
Well, neither have I!
Eve:
You have to do this, Karma! Everyone is counting on us.
Wes, Sydney, Verity, and Gavin are huddled up.
Wes:
Gavin is our secret weapon; he can take down at least a few of those pirates.
Verity:
Or at least he’ll be a good enough distraction for us.
Sydney:
The one place they aren’t watching is the water. We can swim around and board their boat from behind.
Wes:
Yeah, but the problem is getting to the water. Even if Gavin is a distraction, he must kill the guard closest to us. Otherwise, we’ll never make it without getting seen.
Verity:
That could be very tricky. Even one of Gavin’s fart blasts could kill a man, but he has to get close enough without getting shot.
Wes:
Wait a second! I have an idea.
Verity:
Do tell.
Wes:
What if Gavin and I pretend to be giving up? We both step out with our hands up, and the pirate will come to tie us up at gunpoint. That’s when I try to take his weapon, I’ll more than likely die, but the guard will be so distracted that Gavin will be able to kill him with a fart blast.
Verity:
It could work…
Wes:
Well, that’s the best we can do. Gavin, come on.
Gavin:
Giddy up!
Sydney:
Wait.
Wes, Verity, and Gavin:
Huh?
Sydney:
Let me do it.
Wes:
Wh- why? It makes no difference which one of us does it. Besides, you’re a stronger swimmer than I am.
Sydney:
Yes… but… if you die here, there’s a chance you’ll fail the exam. You performed well against me in our match, but… I had two chances, and you didn’t, so…
Wes:
I- uh… oh, right…
Verity smiles.
Verity:
Let Sydney do it, Wes.
Wes:
Uh… okay.
Sydney’s face is red.
Verity:
Thank you, Sydney.
Sydney:
Whatever, let’s just go!
Pirate 1 spins the lottery machine.
Pirate 1:
Ash and Grace.
Ash:
Oh god!
Grace:
Mmmmm…
Ash and Grace are dragged to the center.
Ash:
Please… don’t do what you did to Killian.
Grace:
Oh, I’m gonna.
Ash:
AHHH!
Sydney:
*from afar* Hey!
Everyone looks in the direction of the sound. Sydney and Gavin are walking out of the woods with their hands up.
Aaron:
Sydney?
Alexis:
Huh, her bottoms are cute.
Pirate 10 walks over to them.
Pirate 10:
Try anything funny, and I’ll kill you, got that?
Pirate 10 reaches for his rope, so Sydney reaches for his gun.
Pirate 10:
Dumb bitch!
Pirate 10 shoots Sydney in the chest.
Sydney:
Now! Gavin!
Gavin aims his anus at Pirate 10’s nostrils.
Gavin:
Ass Gas Assassination!
Gavin rips ass so hard in the pirate’s face that his eyes start to melt.
Pirate 10:
AHHHHHH!
Sydney smacks against the ground.
Sydney:
Go get them… Gavin.
Gavin starts running around the beach like a psychopath.
Meltman:
Kill him!
The pirates open fire on Gavin, but he waddles around and evades every shot.
Gavin:
Nimu Nimu Nimu Nimu Nimu!
As Gavin distracts everyone, Wes and Verity run into the water and start swimming.
Eve:
What’s going on?
Karma:
It looks like Gavin is making a fool of himself… and it’s working!
Eve:
They’re all distracted! Let’s go!
Karma and Eve burst out of the bushes; Eve takes Pirate 9 by surprise, punching him in the sternum so hard that his rib cage shatters, and the bone fragments scatter and tear apart his heart, instantly killing him. Karma shoots and kills Pirate 8.
Meltman:
What!
Eve charges at Meltman.
Eve:
Let my friends go!
Pirates 1, 6, and Meltman all fire upon Eve and kill her instantly, but this distraction allows Karma to shoot and kill Pirate 6.
Karma:
(Yes!)
Karma gets shot and killed by Pirate 7.
Alexis:
Karma!
Kevin:
Eve too!
Gavin sneaks up behind Pirate 7 and fills his face with toxic fart gas.
Pirate 7:
AHHHHHH!
Pirate 7 falls to the ground dead.
Pirate 1:
It’s just you and me, boss!
Meltman:
That’s fine! We just need to kill that farting animal!
Gavin charges at Meltman and Pirate 1. They continuously fire at him, but Gavin waddles and dodges.
Pirate 1:
His irregular running motion makes it impossible to hit him!
Gavin suddenly stops.
Gavin:
Ah… I just shit my pants again.
Pirate 1 and Meltman fire and kill Gavin. All the bodies disintegrate, leaving just Meltman, Pirate 1, Aaron, Alexis, Ash, Kevin, Grace, and Alec.
Pirate 1:
I think that just leaves two at large, sir.
Meltman:
That’s fine. At least all of the guns are accounted for; they can’t do anything to us now.
A gun cocks.
Meltman:
Huh?
Meltman and Pirate 1 turn and look to see Wes and Verity standing on the boat. Wes is aiming a flare gun at Meltman.
Wes:
Think again.
Wes fires the flare gun, and the flare embeds into Meltman’s sternum, lighting him on fire.
Meltman:
AHHHHH! I’M MELTING! I’M MELTING! Oh, wait…
Meltman burns to death.
Pirate 1:
Captain! NO!
Pirate 1 takes aim at Wes.
Pirate 1:
DAMN YOU!
Aaron stands up and tackles Pirate 1 against the boat. He drops his weapon.
Aaron:
Verity!
Verity jumps down, grabs the AK, and kills Pirate 1.
Aaron:
Good job…
Aaron falls down in pain.
Alexis:
Aaron!
Aaron:
Note… running on an empty stomach after weeks of no food, and two GSWs in your legs isn’t a bright idea.
Alexis smiles.
Kevin:
Uh… guys?
Grace is smothering Ash with her crotch.
Grace:
THE SHOW MUST GO ON!
Ash:
*muffled* HELP!
Wes:
No! No! Grace!
After rescuing Ash from Grace, Wes and Verity untie Ash, Grace, Alec, Aaron, Kevin, and Alexis, and everyone boards the boat.
Aaron:
Ugh…
Alexis:
You did good, Aaron.
Ash:
All I did was get captured and be saved… I don’t feel like I did a lot.
Kevin:
You refrained from playing Meltman’s twisted game; that’s pretty good. Unlike some people.
Grace and Alec both laugh.
Verity:
You did good, Wes.
Wes:
Th- thanks, you too.
Kevin sits down at the sailor’s seat.
Kevin:
Alright, everyone! Let’s get off this island!
Alec, Ash, Alexis, Aaron, Wes, Verity, and Grace:
Yeah!
The survivors sail the boat off into the sunset.
Wes:
Why do I feel like we forgot something?
Tobias watches them sail off from the cliff.
Tobias:
(I don’t deserve to pass this exam.)
